Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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