Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ttyl tear gas
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
