butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
