I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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