STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
