I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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