I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
