i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do herpes really smell.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
