well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
