She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
