Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
