ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
