i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
