oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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