College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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