What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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