If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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