11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize