just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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