Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
