i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
