yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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