you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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