so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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