he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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