Your tits are I can't wait for
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
