Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
