In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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