We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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