I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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