Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
