hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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