Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
