A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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