i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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