Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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