Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
