so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
