we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
