Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
