these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
