You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
