Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
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Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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