The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
