pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
