how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize