So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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