Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
