hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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