Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
