im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
