When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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