the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
