Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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