i don't plan on having that self control this summer
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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