we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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