So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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