Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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