he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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