she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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