I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
