Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
