Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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