so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There's even glitter on my cock...
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