he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
